Discontentment

“Content.” As a sophomore in college, I was challenged by my FCA leader to choose a word for the upcoming year. A word to focus on. An area where I am lacking and need growth. The Lord revealed to me that I was not content. I remember this season in my life. I was happy, busy, and having so much fun in college. I was so happy and in love with my boyfriend (now husband), involved in nearly every club/ organization I could be, and truly loving life in every facet. However, it was also during this season that God showed me that I am never satisfied.

I have learned that I am someone who is always ready for what’s next before I have even enjoyed now. As God revealed this to me, I remembered so many times in my life where I wished away now because what’s next always seemed better. In high school, I remember obsessing over my Pinterest perfect dorm room before I had even applied to a college. Before I was even engaged, I longed to be married and obsessed over the every detail of my wedding. As soon as I was married, all I could think about was starting a family and how happy I’d be with babies. (And I was 20!!) Once I was over the “starting a family” phase, then it was building a house. I just knew I’d have the ultimate happiness when I had my dream house. God has seriously humbled me and has shown me the truth about my personality and mindset: I am never satisfied. I am never content. I will physically give myself a headache because I plan and plan and plan my “perfect” future to the point where I am STRESSED OUT about things that are a long ways away from happening. I have found that I feel like I am failing or falling behind if I’m not moving on to the next thing. I am never happy just enjoying right now.

You may feel the same way. Maybe not as extreme. But I feel like everyone has experienced this to a certain extent. Always wanting more. As a newly married couple, it can be especially difficult to navigate these feelings. It is hard to see another young couple buy a beautiful new home when you‘re pinching pennies to pay rent. It‘s not fun to see others on expensive vacations or buying brand new vehicles. Maybe it’s the longing for a child while feeling like everyone around you is starting a family with such ease.

Whatever it is that has you feeling discontent, it is completely normal but it’s hindering your relationship with God.

God has been making me aware of this sin in my life. That’s what it is. Sin. I used to not think of it as sin, but now I see what it does to my heart. When we are discontent, three things happen:

1. We become discouraged.

In whatever season of life you are in, I hope you are working towards something. Maybe trying to finish college. Maybe saving for a house or a car. Even a fitness goal you have for yourself. Anything. It is so wonderful and necessary that we set achievable goals for ourselves. However, when we grow discontent and impatient, it is soooo easy to lose sight of our goal and get discouraged. You are putting in the work. The time. The money. You are sacrificing, yet you feel like you are getting no where. Everyone around you is successful. You are too far behind to ever catch up. What’s the point? You feel like you should just give up. Does this sound familiar? I have definitely been there. Starting that comparison game with everyone around you. What’s the point? I’ll never be where they are. Too many times in my life I have set my self up for failure simply because I become discouraged too quickly. It’s easy to do. But it seems that we often forget that we never know the road someone took to get where they are. When you find yourself discouraged because you don’t feel like you have it together like someone else, remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The couple that has the beautiful new home may have a failing marriage. The classmate who never struggles in school or wins every award may look at you and wish he or she had the relationship you have with your family. The person taking the extravagant vacations may have a life threatening disease. The person with the beautiful brand new car may be drowning in debt just trying to impress others. Or maybe that person worked and sacrificed for years to get where he or she is today. Maybe that person struggled but was patient and it paid off. We truly never know the real story, so there is no reason to compare. If we all knew the truth, we’d probably find that we are much happier with what God has given us and we’d stay patient and encouraged as we focus and work toward our own goals. Don’t let your assumptions about someone else‘s “success” make you bitter and discouraged.

2. We become distracted

I am fully aware that there is an enemy who is seeking those who he can devour. I also believe that if he can’t “devour” us, he will distract us. Think about it. If you grow envious and discontent, are you more or less likely to share the gospel with someone? If I am bitter that I don’t have my beautiful dream home already, how likely is it that I will open my home to others? If I am discontent with my body, how likely is it that I use my body to glorify Christ and to be the hands and feet of Jesus? If I am discontent with my (fill in the blank), how likely am I to praise, glorify and thank God for what He has given me. How can we be ambassadors for Christ when we are focused on material things? We can’t. If we are distracted by earthly things that have no eternal value then we won’t be investing in things with eternal value. We won’t care about who is hurting. We won’t become burdened for the lost. We won’t be able to see past our own noses to the needs around us. If Satan can keep us distracted, we are letting him win.

3. We become dissatisfied

Are you satisfied with Jesus? Is He enough? If you lost everything tomorrow but still had Jesus, would you be happy? Would you still have joy? These are the tough questions that I have asked myself as God revealed His truth to me. As a Christian, I have surrendered my life to Christ. I want His to become my will. Not the other way around. And when you think about it, that is A LOT. What if His will is to never get married? What if His will is to never have children? What if His will is to stay in the little home you have now forever? What if His will is for you to sell everything and become a missionary overseas?

What if His will is to lose the person you love the most? What if His will is to become ill with a life threatening disease? What if His will is to risk losing everything? Would Jesus still be enough?

I am reminded of the scripture in Philippians 4 where Paul was writing to the persecuted church of Philippi. Paul was in prison and had suffered beatings, illnesses, poverty and many other real hardships. In verses 12-13, he says,

12 “I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

These are such powerful words from someone who is truly satisfied with Christ. While hungry, sick, hurt, poor and sitting in a dark and lonely prison cell, Paul writes that He has learned the secret of contentment. That is- being as content with Jesus when is poor, hurt, hungry and imprisoned just as he is when he is rich, healthy and well-fed. Jesus, please give me a heart like Paul’s!

Someone once told me that if I don’t thank God for a little, why should He bless me with alot? That really opened my eyes. If I am not thankful for the little home we have now, why should God bless me with a nicer or bigger home? If I am not thankful for a healthy body now, why should He continue to bless me with health? If I am discontent with my paycheck now, why should He give me a promotion or raise?

Whenever I start to feel discontent, I remind myself that if I am not thankful for what God has given me, then why in the world should He bless me with more? Be thankful right now for what you have right now. Be satisfied with Jesus because He is enough. And remember, the grass is greener where you water it.

Prayer:

“Dear God, I praise You for the blessings in my life. For always providing for me, for protecting me, for giving me more than I ever deserve. Forgive me for the times I become discouraged in Your plan, distracted from Your plan and dissatisfied with Your plan. All I want for my life is Your will. I know I will never be satisfied until I am satisfied with You. Help me to be content in every season. And to praise You in every season because You are worthy. Amen.”

Thanks for reading! xoxo, Av